i’m not a parent (and having a fur baby doesn’t count) (having 11 totsicles doesn’t count either). i don’t know what it’s like to have children. sure, i can imagine it. but that’s about it.

frankly, a lot of the parent stuff i don’t get. sacrifice sleep? your body? yourself? all for the betterment of another person? call me shallow, but that sounds like a lot.

however…what i do get is the reality of seeing all my friends morph into these fierce moms and dads, willing to fly to the moon and back for their child, smiling in ways i’ve never seen them smile before, marveling at this creature that only exists because of them. and i do get how our own parents are here for us.

sure there’s a lot of pressure on parents, especially moms, these days to be and do everything. and parenthood is possibly the hardest thing someone can do in their lives. 

especially if you have a sick kid, or one with special needs, be they physical, mental, or emotional. 

when i was first diagnosed, we drug our heels in wanting to tell our parents, recognizing how much of an already heavy load they were carrying with cancer and caretaking, how difficult it would be for them, how helpless they would feel, and that they would go on their own painful journey as we went on ours. they couldn’t protect us or put a band-aid on it. they couldn’t trade us places. they couldn’t drop everything and move in to be full-time caretakers (although it’s gotten to the point that our electrician asks where my parents are when he drops by to do simple projects). they couldn’t make it go away.

i don’t think we ever get over needing our parents, especially our moms.

today in this post, we just want to thank our parents for all the sacrifices they have made, things they’ve done, things they’ve said or haven’t said, to make it just a little bit easier for us.  our parents are all at a distance; the cards and small thoughtful gestures had added up with the time here pulling weeds, cleaning the roof, making furniture (seriously), scrubbing toilets and floors, cooking, boiling hot water for tea, washing our sheets and towels, running random errands to wal-greens and the library and grocery store, doing the dishes, and so on.

my mom (momba/kathy concernicus/katheter) left yesterday, and by having her here the past 2 weeks, i could focus on healing, working, and other things to keep my mind occupied and a bit detached from the post-op situation. i was more than a little bummed to have to make my own breakfast today and put away the dishes, but i’ll live.
thank you, thank you, thank you, parents.

some recovery updates: i got my final drain out on thursday, ending the long daily cycle of drain care, pain meds, antibiotics. the incisions continue to look like they’re fusing together well…well enough for me to get most of the bandages off and the first 25cc fill on the expander. when the big fill needle came out, there was some blood, which made the doctor really happy to see that there is blood flowing through the tissue. i also got my monthly zolodex shot. i continue struggle with the live incisions (the newest one being a little over 8 inches from my back around to the front), residual scars and radiation dots all over my torso. i vacillate between feeling like a freak show and feeling like i’ve just survived some major shit. and…drumroll…after 26 days of sponge bathing, i got to shower. hallelujah!

xom (&m)