tomorrow, i round 2 weeks since the last major surgery.  i’ve been having a hard time keeping in good touch with people and feeling motivated to even check in. i’m bored and listless of healing, doing wound care, emptying drains, being scolded when i move to lift something, not showering (going on 4 weeks tomorrow…wowza), and giving my ambitious mom random house projects to keep her from plowing through the entire SF library catalogue. and that’s all ok. annoying. maddening. infuriating. but ok. throw in the dishwasher overflowing, kitchen ceiling leaking water, and whiz peeing on our bed to make it just that kind of week.

i got a good report from the doctor on friday. in fact, he was shocked at how good my skin looked. it was one of those back-handed compliments, or complisults…like, what did you expect to see??? i won’t let his puzzlement and set of “hm.  hm.  hmmmm???”  weigh on me much though. my skin is no longer too purple and bruised, and instead it’s looking like the back skin is recognizing the breast skin and starting to fuse together. he had to take a step back in the exam room to marvel at the human body. his words were “awesome,” which if you know surgeons, that’s not exactly in their preferred lexicon (according to the physicians assistant, who was just as shocked as he was). 

i also got my back drain out and hope to get my chest drain out this thursday + first fill of 25 cc in the expander. the healing has meant better sleep too, so that i can finally sleep on my left side without my right arm putting too much pressure on the incisions.

i thought of this maya angelou quote this week:  “i’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things:  a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled christmas tree lights.”  i’d throw in surgical drains too.

because of a combination of the anesthesia and pain meds and shock of it all, my memory is foggy in some places over the past 4 weeks. mike reminded me this week of the potential solutions on the table if the back flap didn’t start working: another surgery in the coming week (worse) or leeches (worser). hold the phone…LEECHES??? while i’m a nature girl and appreciate looking to nature for solutions, are you fucking kidding me that the best we’ve got are…worms?  yes, yes that’s right. they do a great job pulling in blood to the surgical site (and pulling it out too…so much so, that if we went that route, i’d have to get a blood transfusion shortly thereafter).

in the words of my non-existent jewish grandmother, “oy vey.”

we can fortunately call off the leeches, unless something changes again. things are looking up, folks. and what else is looking up is a tiny adorable carrot my mom found in our CSA. and some good visits with faraway friends. and hearing from you. and baby lena born to bridget and steve.

talk with you soon, i hope.

xom