I’ve been dipping my toe into this parenting thing. A casual lurker on a mother’s group here. A voyeur in a parent’s group there. Casually skimming and scrolling, clicking and closing, catching the scents that are carried along the winds of parenting in the Bay Area, parenting period.

I could jump in, a perfect dive, toes pointed just so, avoiding any splash. But, I wait. For what, I’m not sure.

The latest thing though that some alert tells me to start worrying about is Halloween. What’s your child’s costume???? With one too many question marks.

And the next: my kid’s school has stopped Halloween costumes, citing religious reasons. Chaos ensued because I’ve spent so much time on the costume and my kid was sooooo excited! The weight of the pile-on of so many mothers weighing in – yes, if your child is 2 to 12 it’s pretty much all they want to talk about, the costume, the spooky things, the pumpkins, the bats and spiders and witches. How dare they???!!! The outrage. As if this is the only thing that matters in this moment! One mother sharing with a lot of patience and high mindedness – well not everyone can afford a Halloween costume so it’s not really an equitable holiday to celebrate, not really rooted to any cultural practice. Then the initial mother, well if they would just say THAT, I’d be fine with it. Sure, I think.

And then the next, my kid came home from preschool today crying because her new friend, the religious one, said that he wasn’t afraid of witches because he believed in god and god would save him. And my kid probably should be afraid because she didn’t know about god.

My tongue-in-cheek reaction to that line was, I wonder which god was in reference?

I close the browser, close the laptop, close my mind and carry on.