Rats, rats moved in and chewed up our new car engine.

Then a flat tire.

Then a tire sensor broken.

Then a busted, vandalized tail light.

Then a cracked windshield.

And that was just the car problems.

Distracted on the L-platform at Clark and Lake in Chicago, my wallet stolen, ripped right out of my backpack. No shred of ID or credit card or money on me as I headed to the airport.

To fly.

For 6 hours.

To see my family.

Who was on vacation together.

When my dad, went into the hospital with a collapsed lung and heart failure in what’s supposed to be the happiest place on earth.

And then the FDA, a formal letter in the mail. They decided to recall my implant. Too many cases of a secondary cancer of lymphoma. They forgot though that I have 2 of those implants because a double mastectomy was the advice. And now they are banned. What’s my choice.

And Julie is dying, one last treatment an attempt to give her a few months.

And Kay is in hospice.

And Pat is now gone, evaporated into the realm of the universe and the air that I breathe.

The packages stolen from our front porch. My birthday present. The USPS ignored the mailhold.

San Francisco’s investigator calling me, to ask questions, about the structural engineer being investigated by the city, and why, in all the subpoenas, our checks are in there and were they accurate and did we know.

The border, the climate, the shootings of innocents, the corporate greed.

The flight cancelled, the ferry oversold, the taxi credit card machine broken.

And the lines at the DMV to renew my driver’s license. But I had no money to pay because it was somewhere in Chicago in a trashcan.

Where I’d also like to put this Spring 2019.